Love over Lust
by berrychi84
Summary: Ichigo, after telling himself time and time again he doesn't, has given up and admitted he is in love with the teal haired Arrankar. But what does Grimmjow feel for him?
1. Love over Lust

I want to be loved, but you don't seem to love me

Title: Love over Lust- Ichigo's side

Author: Megan

Paring: Grimmjow/Ichigo

Rating: R

Warnings: sexual themes, swearing, ANGST, AU from storyline

Disclaimer: Hi. I don't own Bleach, or the song. Bleach is Kubo Tite sama's, and千の夜をこえて belongs to Aqua Timez.

Summary: Ichigo has given up on trying to tell himself he doesn't love the Sexta Espada. But what does Grimmjow think of him? This is for kazekami43v3r for sticking by me and telling me to get things done. THANK YOU!! (Also, I just wanna see you cry ;) )

"_I want you to love me, but I don't think you will"  
I wander around as I repeat this to myself  
It's the only answer I have, even if I'm scared of getting hurt  
I'll say "I love you" to the person I love._

"Grimmjow!" His voice was never filled with hate when he called that name now. Instead, the young Shinigami called it with eagerness. "How… how long are you here for?"

The teal hair blew around in the light breeze that past through the window Grimmjow was currently perched in. "Ya miss me Ichi? I was only gone for a few days." A smirk crossed a tanned face. "Yer in luck. I can stay a few days. Aizen has us doin' our own thing back in Hueco Mundo, so he shouldn't be lookin' for me any time soon."

The strawberry looked some what relieved. "Really… that's… nice." The smirk turned into a mischievous smirk.

"Damn right it is. Now I've got more time ta have my way with ya!"

Ichigo always blushed madly when the Sexta was forward with him. "L-like hell you will!" The red tinge faded slowly, the teen looking at his feet as Grimmjow advanced on him. "Grimm?"

"What?"

'_Say it… you have to say it!'_ "I… I…lo-…lo-…()" His words came out squeaked and barely audible. The Espada looked down confused.

"I'm great? Heh… didn't know you were so blunt, Ichi. Yeah, I _am_ pretty great, ain't I? Really _great_ in bed."

The poor boy scowled. "That's not what I was trying to say!" _'I love you, you fucker!'_ "I-."

"Whatever, Shinigami. Common, lets fuck!"

_Do you love me or not?  
I don't care what the answer is, I just need to know!  
No matter how badly I desire to be with you,  
There are many unchangeable things in this world,  
And my love for you  
Can't be stopped by anyone._

Ichigo, sometimes, would wonder how they had not been caught yet. He was sure their act of "love making" was _very_ loud, and was surprised his family had not caught on yet. Perhaps they just figured the constant thumping of the bed against the wall and the moans they heard was Ichigo having a nightmare. Yeah, a nightmare he got off too.

"_Fuck_ Grimm! Do that… do that again!"

"Ya don't have ta tell me twice!" His thrusting was at bruising speed, and the orange haired teen knew he'd be sore for a good week. "Fuck, ya get really tight when I do that. Shit I really love it…"

The Shinigami representative heard those words a lot. But he longed to be the object of Grimmjow's affection. He knew the Sexta only loved screwing the teen. Some how, that was good enough for Ichigo.

He was moaning loud now, clinging limply to strong shoulders. "Ahn… Grimmjow… harder!"

"Any harder and you'll break, Shinigami! Besides, yer gunna yell at me for it after. Ya always do."

"Fuck it Grimm! I need-_nnh!­_-need it harder!"

The Arrankar growled. "_Hnn-_… Don't say I didn't warn ya!"

A scream erupted from Ichigo, and seconds later a grunt from the teal haired hollow he was connected to. Grimmjow sighed, obviously satisfied, and looked down at the panting teen.

"I don't get ya, berry. Some day we're gunna get caught, ya know."

Ichigo struggled to make eye contact. "Yeah, I know."

A snort. "But ya still wanna continue?"

A smile broke the flushed face. "'Course. I don't give a damn about what other people think any more."

The hollow grinned. "Good. Then let's go for another round."

_As 1000 nights pass, I long to tell you…  
I have to let you know,  
"I want you to love me, but I don't think you will."  
I wander around as I repeat this to myself  
It's the only answer I have, even if I'm scared of getting hurt  
I'll say "I love you" to the person I love._

_Putting these feelings into words is so scary, but_

_I'll say "I love you" to the person I love._

'_Why do I put myself through this if I already know the answer?'_ Ichigo couldn't figure it out. Grimmjow was no where near being a nice, kind lover. He just was what he is; hollow of all emotions except the seven sins. And the Sexta was sure big on lust.

"Common Ichi! I should be using this time to 'train' or something, but I come down here to see you. Now let's fuck!"

"Grimmjow…" _'I can't believe I am about to ask this…'_ "Can't we do something _more_ then just… screw?"

Blue eyes blinked. "More? Like what?"

Fidgeting. "I don't know… why don't we just… go out somewhere?"

More blinking. "…Like a date?"

"NO!!"

"I can take ya on a date if ya want Ichi, but it'll be hard. I mean… not many people can see me, and you'll look weird talking to yourself-."

"Ok ok I get it!" Broad shoulders shrugged. "We can at least find something… else to do…"

As if the red tinge on the teen's face wasn't enough of a hint, Grimmjow was certain the Shinigami was trying to tell him something. "What are ya tryin' ta say, Shinigami?"

"You know! Can't we just…" Hands waved around in front of the teen, think he was trying to make conversation with his hands. "Like…-."

"Ya askin' me ta _cuddle_ you…. Ichi?" The teen looked about ready to pop. "…Weirdo."

"I am not _weird_, Grimmjow! It's a normal thing that normal couples do-."

"So, we are a _normal_ couple then? _Normal_ couples are Shinigami and Hollow, then? _Normal_ couples-."

"Jesus you're an ass. If you're going to be such a fucking bastard-."

"Oi! Did I say I wasn't goin' to? Fuck, ya sure freak out easily. Come 'ere…"

Staring accusingly at the other, Ichigo slowly made his way over to where the Arrankar sat on his bed. Taking a seat next to him, he gasped as he was suddenly pulled onto a lap and arms wrapped around him. "See 'ere? I guess it wasn't so bad then. Yer just short enough."

A vein throbbed. "Fuck you."

"But we just got ta cuddling…" Blue eyes smiled as the hollow felt the body below him heat up with embarrassment.

_The happiness we chance upon in our lives can't be expressed in words,  
That's why we can only smile.  
Why we sing "Do Re Mi" among the vivid autumn colors,  
With winter at our backs, and the spring sunbeams peaking through the leaves_

_As to protect someone who's just been reborn._

"Fuck… fuck get IN here!" A strong arm grabbed another and pulled it into an alleyway, taking the rest of the body with it. Moments later, two bodies ran past the back street.

"Shit… oh hell… oh fuck. I'm so dead. They're gunna find us Grimm! We can't keep hiding like this forever!"

"Well, are ya _sure_ they saw us?"

"Rukia said 'Hey Ichigo!' and ran after us! If you had _only_ hidden YOURSELF without dragging ME with you, we wouldn't be being chased by two Shinigami at the moment!"

"Oh, so ya WANTED me to just leave ya there ta have ta explain yerself? Fine! Then let's go _find_ them and I'll just let ya _'explain'_ yerself!"

"I could have bluffed it! Are you saying I can't lie? Maybe she wouldn't have seen you-."

"Maybe not, but ya _smell_ like me, berry, and that's enough ta get them a little more then suspicious."

Chocolate eyes narrowed and looked away, the red tinge that seemed to like the teenage face reappearing. "Only you would be able to smell something like that, you bastard."

Teal hair blew softly as the Arrankar looked around the corner. He closed his eyes, but opened them a moment later. "Alright, they're gone. For now at least. You better get back to your house before they come back this way."

"Are you… leaving?"

"Of course dumb ass! What, you think it's _worth it_ to get caught with you by some Shinigami…" The Sexta Espada quickly shut his mouth as he saw bright eyes widen with hurt. "Now… ya _know_ that's not what I meant-."

"Obviously it is, Grimmjow. Well fine… if I am not _worth it_, I might as well just go then."

"Ichi…"

A cold back turned to face the Arrankar. "You know, I may not be _worth it_ to you Grimmjow, but if you were in my situation, you would be _worth it_ to me."

The hollow let out a growl as the orange haired teen disappeared. Bits of rock flew as a fist smashed into a near-by building. "…Fucking Shinigami."

_As I looked at the road I'd travelled and the path ahead, my eyes were filled with cowardice.  
I wanted to look into your eyes, but was afraid I wouldn't be honest.  
I didn't want to know that you didn't love me  
And live the rest of my days all alone  
That day, I kept on loving you without getting hurt.  
_

"Ichigo! Ichigo stop! Ichigo we just wanna talk!" The door slammed shut before the raven haired girl could reach the teen.

Cautiously putting a hand on the wood, Rukia closed her eyes. "Do you just not trust Renji and I? Are we not friends any more, Ichigo?"

There was silence, until, "You wouldn't understand."

"Wouldn't understand what, Ichigo? We just want to know why you were with that Arrankar and why you weren't fighting. If you two… if you two have managed to form an alliance-."

"You don't have to worry about Grimmjow anymore, Rukia. I am not worth the danger for us to continue this type of relationship."

The small Shinigami opened her eyes wide. "Ichigo… you-."

"I understand that you just wanna help, I get that. But there are some things I can't and shouldn't share with you. This is one of them. You will just have to take my word for it."

The orange haired teen paused as he listened to the breathing on the other side of the door. "Do you love him?"

Fists clench. "…I do."

"Do you trust him?"

"As much as any of you, Rukia."

"Then… ok. I won't ask you any more." Ichigo moved off the door and opened it, staring down at the unseated Shinigami. "I'll trust you then. But hear me when I say this. Renji and I will keep this to ourselves for as long as we feel safe. Should this ever become a threat-."

"I know. Don't worry. I will stop it before it ever gets there."

Purple eyes look hopingly up into chocolate ones. "You think you can do that?"

A soft smile. "Of course."

_As 1000 nights pass, I long to tell you…_

_I have to let you know,  
"I want you to love me, but I don't think you will"  
I wander around as I repeat this to myself  
It's the only answer I have, even if I'm scared of getting hurt  
I'll say "I love you" to the person I love  
Even if my feelings aren't returned, I can say "I love you" to the one I love…_

_And that's the most beautiful thing in the world._

Blue eyes watched as a body slept soundly. Making his mind up, the Arrankar descended to the windowsill and tapped lightly on the glass. Warm brown ones opened quickly as the teen looked up, moving to open the window.

"Grimmjow… I didn't think… you'd be back so soon."

A shrug. "Yeah well… if I had stayed away any longer, I'm sure ya would have cock blocked me fer longer then I already am."

Ichigo smiled. "Yeah, I could have."

Eyes met slowly, blue ones taunting the darker, until they were inches apart.

"Grimmjow… I… I need to tell you that I… I-."

"I get it, berry. Yer not that hard ta read."

Lips brush gently, calloused hands gripping a white jacket. "Then…"

"Yeah… I suppose you _are_ worth it."

_--fin_

_  
()- in the story, when Ichigo is trying to say something and is stuttering (the first time) he want's to say "I love you" which in Japanese (because they are speaking in Japanese) is anata wa daisuki... anata meaning you and daisuki meaning really like/love. Dai means great or big. So, all Grimmjow can hear out of Ichigo's mouth is "Anata wa... anata wa... da-dai...dai..." so roughly "You... you are...yer great..." or so. I just thought I would play with the words for kicks._

And for anyone that would like the Japanese version of it, here it is!:

愛されたいでも愛そうとしない

その繰り返しのなかを彷徨って

僕が見つけた答え一つ怖くたって傷付いたって

好きな人には好きって伝えるんだ

あなたが僕を愛してるか愛してないか

なんてことはもうどっちでもいいんだ

どんなに願い望もうが

この世界には変えられぬものが沢山あるだろう

そうそして僕があなたを愛してるという事実だけは

誰にも変えられぬ真実だから

千の夜をこえてあなたに伝えたい

伝えなきゃならないことがある

愛されたいでも愛そうとしない

その繰り返しのなかを彷徨って

僕が見つけた答え一つ怖くたって傷付いたって

好きな人には好きって伝えるんだ

気持ちを言葉にするのは怖いよでも

好きな人には好きって伝えるんだ

この広い世界で巡り合う喜びを言葉じゃ言い表せないね

だから僕達は微笑み

色鮮やかに過ぎる秋をドレムで唄って

冬を背に春の木漏れ日を待ち

新しく生まれ変わる誰かを守れるようにと

来た道と行き先振り返ればいつでも臆病な目をしていた僕

向き合いたいでも素直になれない

まっすぐに相手を愛せない日々を

繰り返してはひとりぼっちを嫌がった

あの日の僕は無傷なままで人を愛そうとしていた

千の夜をこえて今あなたに会いに行こう

伝えなきゃならないことがある

愛されたいでも愛そうとしない

その繰り返しのなかを彷徨って

僕が見つけた答え一つ怖くたって傷付いたって

好きな人には好きって伝えるんだ

その想いが叶わなくたって好きな人に好きって伝える

それはこと世界で一番素敵なことさ


	2. Lust over Love

Title: Lust over Love- Grimmjow's side

Title: Lust over Love- Grimmjow's side

Author: Meg

Paring: Grimmjow/Ichigo

Rating: R

Warnings: sexual content, swearing, angsty Ichi (less then last time) AU from story line

Disclaimer: YO! I still don't own Bleach. And _no_… Kubo-sama has _NOT_ returned any of my calls/letters… D: Oh, and the song, Inside of You, belongs to Hoobastank.

Summary: The songfic that matches Ichigo's 'Love over Lust'. Grimmjow knows what he wants; and that is sex, from a certain Shinigami. But is that _really_ all he cares about?

_It seems so obvious  
there's something up with us  
I swear I feel it  
from across the room.  
So can I ask you this?  
Not to be forward, miss,  
But I think I'd kill myself  
if I never knew...  
_

At first, it was about fucking, and that was it. Grimmjow only kept the boy alive so he could screw him, and that really was the honest truth. He dared anyone to second guess him.

Kurosaki Ichigo was a good fighter. He was also a great piece of ass. Grimmjow knew exactly how it had started. In fact, it was himself that had made the first move.

They had been fighting, nothing abnormal to what the usually did when they met each other. For the past few weeks Grimmjow had been noticing things about the Shinigami that has previously pissed him off. Things like his eyes, which he now found attractive, and his face, which now turned him on. The berry's movements and aggression were also a factor in Grimmjow's new found lust for the teen.

Ichigo had had Zangetsu knocked from his hands and had begun to throw a punch, but Grimmjow had other plans. He grabbed the fist and used the teen's own momentum to swing the Shinigami into him and into an embrace, which Grimmjow promptly made use of. Ichigo had started to complain of the sudden close contact with the Arrankar, but was cut short when said Arrankar attacked his with his own. He had made a soft noise that sounded like her disapproved of the Sexta's move, and gripped the white jacket tightly. Other then that, the strawberry named teen made no other move to stop the teal haired Espada, which only spurred him on.

By the time they needed air, Grimmjow had been so horny he had pulled the teen into an alley and took him right there and then. Not exactly the best place for first time sex, but who was Ichigo trying to kid? It _was_ Grimmjow.

_What do I have to do  
to get inside of you?  
To get inside of you?  
Cuz I love the way you move,  
when I'm inside of you.  
When I'm inside of you..._

Grimmjow knew that since the first contact, there would be no stopping it until it all just blew up in their faces. Ichigo had slowly begun to adjust to having the Arrankar around not just to fight, and Grimmjow was surprised to see he was acting more like a friend then an enemy everyday. Whether or not Ichigo under stood that himself was a mystery to the Sexta Espada, but when the day came the Ichigo had actually _asked_ the Arrankar for sex, Grimmjow knew things had changed drastically.

Ichigo had usually been a hard ass (no pun intended) when it came to sex. It was always "You are _SUCH_ a sex fiend! You perverted, horny Arrankar! Give me a break!" which was followed by a short fight. The "fight", if it could be called that, never lasted long, as Ichigo would eventually give in to the Sexta's ministrations. But then it was always "make it fast" or "not all the way" or "not so hard, I have school tomorrow."

Not that Grimmjow didn't mind the change. Change was great. If the Shinigami was more enthusiastic about fucking, that was a huge bonus. Grimmjow saw it as a chance to have _more_ of it. Which was good, very good. He didn't have to persuade the Shinigami anymore, or tell him "you want it anyway, so stop yer bitchin'." Ichigo would now ask him, albeit slowly with a burning red face, if they could do it. And Grimmjow, being Grimmjow, would never say no.

_Just ask and I will do  
anything you want me to  
there is no limit  
to how far I will go…  
And I'm sure I can pretend  
to be a gentleman...  
But before I begin,  
I just gotta know,  
just gotta know..._

He had to admit, it took a while to get there. From the "just fucking" to "having sex, sex". Ichigo told him they were two different things. Grimmjow insisted they were only different in that the words were not the same.

Grimmjow _liked_ fucking. It was hard and fast and sweaty and lusty all in one. It made him feel like the bad ass he knew he was. "Sex, sex" sounded like some lovey-dovey thing couples had, and that was just sick. Ichigo had to call it "sex, sex" because every time he had said "why can't we have sex?", Grimmjow had replied with "we are having sex Ichi, what do you think this is?". The poor teen had tried for the longest time to get the Espada to take things a little slower. He of course tried and failed, not because Grimmjow wouldn't go slower, but because he would eventually ask for it harder.

It was when he had stayed his first night through that Grimmjow had realised that "sex, sex" was not about taking it slow and all coupley-like, but about the before and after. Before sex was the foreplay, something Grimmjow prized himself on. He knew what Ichigo liked, and he knew how to do it in a way that had Ichigo moaning within seconds of touching him. In the afterglow of sex, Grimmjow had usually just left. But that night that he had stayed, he had enjoyed a night sleeping next to a teen that _didn't_ seem like the cuddling type. He didn't even know why he had agreed to stay. Maybe it was because Ichigo had begun to look more and more pitiful when he asked, or maybe it was because Grimmjow was getting softer. HAH yeah, like _THAT_ was the answer.

Grimmjow was slightly surprised when he felt the teen curling into him, a hand gripping his arm like he was making sure the Sexta wouldn't leave. He was even more surprised by his own actions; slinging his arms around the shorted man and pulling him close. At that time he had thought _'Well, anything to get the kid in a good mood'_, because when the "kid" was in a good mood, Grimmjow was in a good mood.

_What do I have to do  
to get inside of you?  
To get inside of you?  
Cuz I love the way you move,  
when I'm inside of you.  
When I'm inside of you..._

So when the Arrankar finally realised the kid had fallen for him bad, he knew he was kinda in a predicament. He could continue to sleep with the Shinigami, playing oblivious to his feelings, or he could break off the whole thing and go back to trying to kill him… like he was _supposed to_. There was a third option, which was to realise his _own_ feelings for the teen, but that seemed like the loser way out. He also didn't particularly like the other ways either.

It didn't help that Ichigo had said it out loud by accident during one of the fucking sessions without realising it afterwards. Grimmjow had hoped it had just been one of those "heat of the moment" things, but deep down he knew it wasn't. He knew he would have to do something about it soon, or the teen might really confess it to his face and then _where_ would he be?!

"_Uhn_… Grimm!"

The Espada broke from his thoughts, looking down at the teen who's heat he was currently buried in. "What?"

"Hah-hard… harder!" Fingers dug into the toned flesh of the Arrankar. "Please! I need-_ah_-need it harder! Fa-_aaa­_-ster!"

Grimmjow studied the Shinigami carefully. His face was flushed and sweaty, eyes clouded in lust. His entire body was twitching with ecstasy that the Sexta knew he was causing.

"Pl-please! I need… I need you-_ahn!_- need you Grimm-jow…"

Something about having the teen riving underneath him seemed to make him harder. _'And just when I thought he couldn't get any hotter then this…'_ His thrusting became erratically faster, and in only minutes he had the teen coming, spilling his seed all over their stomachs.

Pulling out of the warmth, he felt Ichigo cling to him, panting deeply. He looked down at the strawberry Shinigami, and caught his eyes. And suddenly, he knew he would have to make his decision soon.

_For now I'll play the game  
And I'm waiting for your move  
but I've got to say  
That I never lose.._

"Ichigo…"

Grimmjow stood floating outside the teen's window. The other day had been horrible, had he hoped he could sort everything out now, if it wasn't too late. He tapped lightly on the window, and sighed when the teen looked up.

"Grimmjow… I didn't think… you'd be back so soon."

A shrug. "Yeah well… if I had stayed away any longer, I'm sure ya would have cock blocked me fer longer then I already am." _'Take the joke… common take the joke brat…'_

Ichigo smiled. "Yeah, I could have."

Eyes met slowly, blue ones taunting the darker, until they were inches apart. Grimmjow really needed the teen to step up to the plate and take the bait, and when the Shinigami finally opened his mouth, he grinned

"Grimmjow… I… I need to tell you that I… I-."

"I get it, berry. Yer not that hard ta read."

Lips brush gently, calloused hands gripping a white jacket. "Then…"

"Yeah… I suppose you _are_ worth it." And really, Grimmjow supposed he was. And if Ichigo wanted a written love confession well, he was just out of luck.

_What do I have to do  
to get inside of you?  
To get inside of you?  
What do I have to do  
to get inside of you?  
To get inside of you?  
Cuz I love the way you move,  
when I'm inside of you.  
When I'm inside of you...  
When I'm inside of you.  
You...  
You...  
You...  
When I'm inside of you..._

After all, it _was_ Grimmjow.

_--FIN_


End file.
